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Scientology Pick-up Lines

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Is that a cluster of body thetans in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

Congratulations, you’ve gone Clear… to my heart!

You're sweating because of those extra Body Thetans. Want to slip into something more comfortable?

Would you like to come home and audit on my e-meter?

How about you hold my can while I audit your body thetans?

I have $100,000 burning a hole in my pocket, would you like to reg me?

Let me stick my evil xenu in your cave.

Get on your knees, open your mouth, and hail Xenu!

I want to put my intention in you.

Wanna MEST around?

My org needs a touch assist.

How’d you like to pick up these cans?

Would you mind auditing me on the Happiness Rubdown?

Perhaps you can help me with my PTP by snapping terminals with me and being my twin on some TNA processing.

I’ll assign you a post, but I really don’t mind if you blow it

I’d like to have her on my post.

Whenever I see you, my tone arm rises!

Want to help me get my stats up?

Let’s go somewhere and postulate you out of that dress.

Let’s co-audit on OT LXIX.

I've been waiting 75 million years to see a meat body like yours.

Would you like to ride my face to total freedom?

You’re so sexy that you make me exteriorize.

Can you help me meet my dissemination targets?

I’ll let you be in a condition of power.

Where have you been all my Whole Track?

Weren’t we married in a previous life?

What’s a pretty girl like you doing on a prison planet like this?

Didn’t I see you at the Implant Station?

You can blow my org any day

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